Yeah, the post I wrote this morning wasn't really me. Well it was. But it wasn't me talking. Well it was. But it wasn't fully me. After reading it, it doesn't seem like it was me. I want to get better. That wasn't me. Not properly me.
Sometimes, quite a bit of the time, it doesn't feel like it's me in my head telling me what to think. It feels like my mind has a mind of its own. A little voice that says "No! Don't eat that! Do more exercise! You'll get fat!" I think that it was that part of me.
I mean, I do agree with me. I do agree with what it says but the more awesome part of me doesn't as let's face it, starvation and over exercising is not good. I really want to get better, but I also want to be able to run and exercise. It's so hard. It's not me, but at the same time it is me.
So yeah. That post was me. But this post is the logical me who knows it's wrong. That post wasn't much of that me. But I want to run still. It's like my heart has been ripped from my chest. It's not. But it would be so much easier if I could run. Even if it was once a week and for half an hour. Or just for a bit. Until someone says stop. That part was the me me. Not the other me. If that makes sense. But I think that it would be easier and more manageable in my head if I could run. Just saying.
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