In Retrospect…

So I'm writing a lot about music at the moment. And I'm writing a lot about music because it's a comfort and a safe thing and I guess with this stuff that's going on I kind of need it and it's really fantastic to have it. This stuff that might happen in life won't happen, not if I can help it because I'm a stubborn bitch.

So in retrospect, the song that fits my Wednesday is 'This Gift' by Glen Hansard. I'm in the mood for his voice at the moment. It fits today because the lyrics mean something.

"This gift will last forever
This gift will never let you down
Some things are made from better stuff
This gift is waiting to be found

Your heart's in wide receiving
Been too long buried in the sand
Some things require leaving
This gift will fall right in your hand
Just try to understand...

If you long enough
And you don't give up
If you're strong enough
And you don't give up
And you...

You'll be no harbor to the sorrow
Just let it go.

Don't hang your head in sorrow
Don't give up just before you win
Don't wait around for tomorrow
Open up your arms and let it in

This gift will last forever
This gift will never let you down
Some things are made from better stuff
This gift is ready to be found
Just you believe it now 

This gift will last forever
This gift will never let you down
Some things are made from better stuff
This gift is ready to be found
Your heart's in wide receiving
Been too long buried in the sand
Some things require believing
These things just fall right in your hand
Just try to understand

If you long enough
And you don't give up
If you're strong enough
And you don't give up"

The lyrics are really beautiful and mean something to me. Because if you don't give up and you don't give in things will get better. But if you give in and take a back seat then nothing will ever improve. And all it takes is for you to be live in yourself. And yes, you may be sad, but don't dwell on it. You have to let it go. And life us a gift and you only have one. So this song means a lot me as on the days like today where I don't feel like I can do it, it's nice to have a bit of inspiration.

I was pretty stupid and incredibly annoying today. I know that. I backed out of something I so shouldn't have. And all because of a little voice in my head that told me to. It told me that it's fine. And yeah. The amount of semi-truths I said to try and cover it up. But some people see right through them. Yeah, I'm finding school really tough, yeah I'm super stressed, yeah I'm really annoyed at people, yeah I'm fed of being reminded of some stuff and that it is how people see me, yeah I'm terrified a lot of the time, but it wasn't what was bugging me. And someone saw through that.

So this song, in an odd way, sums up all the clutter and mess in my head. All the thoughts that are spinning around and making no sense. And it tells me to keep on trying and not to give up. So yeah, life is good and be strong.