The Smallest of Things

I want to link this one back to one of my mates posts. He around about being proud. Please go and read it. It has true meaning and significance to this post.

So, I've just spent the past hour trying to battle my way through the barrier in my head from yesterday. And it may have taken me over an hour to eat the smallest amount of pasta ever, but I did it. That's 268 calories more than I intended to eat today. And that's only because I tried so hard to get over the barrier in my head. And I'm happy that I did it.  It will sound insane that it was really hard. But it happened. I have actually done it.

Yes, I still feel incredibly guilty because I ate. But I did it. I got over a thought. It may seem like the smallest thing to so many people, but to me it's amazing. Because it was such a small amount, it's not going to make me or others fat. But because it's a small amount it seems insignificant. But it's something to work on to work on right?

The fear is still ruling my mind. But the smallest victory over it is so green. It's like the colour of the fresh grass. It's bright and beautiful. And green. It's a light but dark happy green. I won. It's amazing!

Anything is possible. You just have to prove to your self that you can do it. Right? So even the smallest and most insigntficant of victories over a fear are the first steps.

You have to say thank you to the people who pushed you towards it. Thank you! Because without you guys, I'd be really ill. But because you care and fight and are pushy about it, I'm not. Seriously I do not deserve you guys. Thank you so much! Xx