What I Should Have Said To Derek...

I met the amazing Derek Landy on Saturday! He is a genius and inspiring and he has unknowingly helped me through tough times with his stories. Valkyries struggle with Darquesse reflects the struggle that I have with food and the way I see the world. And being able to pick up one of his books helps, even if I only read my favourite chapters. I guess I should have said that to Derek.

In his ultimate book: "The Dying of the Light", Derek writes about Valkyrie seeing peoples auras. He describes the different colours that she sees for each person there. This, for me, was amazing. After a lot of research and talking to a few people who know a thing or too, I discovered that I have synaesthesia, and for Derek to write about Val seeing these colours meant loads to me as it helped me know that it's extraordinary as it's such a rare form of magic in the books and that reflects how amazing it is in real life.

Valkyrie has also helped me through anorexia. She has a demon, Darquesse. And at sixteen and going through fighting her demon in her head, I felt like I could be like her and be strong and get through it. And with so much support from my friends and obsessive reading of books five to seven, I'm no longer fighting the demon in my head as much and I'm learning how to control it. The demon's still there, but I know if I'm strong like Valkyrie, determined like Tanith and egotistical like Skulduggery, I'll fight the demon as Derek has written the words to show me that every person has a dark side but if they are truly determined, they'll get through it and come out the other side a much stronger person.

Derek is truly a lovely guy. Don't know how he does it! Sitting there talking to fans all day and signing books and being upbeat. He is so amazing and his work reflects that. He never fails to rip your heart out and leave it to be stomped on. Thank you Golden God!

IT'S TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I owe you an apologie

I want to say sorry to my best guy. You mean the world to me and yet I can be such a bitch to you.

You try and help me through everything and I get pissed at you. So I'm sorry. I want to be with you and my friends but conversations aren't coming easily to me.

I find it hard to know what to say as there is so much going on in my head. But these are not excuses as to the way I've treated you and stuck you in the middle of it all.

I'm so sorry. You are trying to so what's best and to make things right. I don't deserve you. You try and do the best and make things right and understand what's going on to find a solution and to make it alright. You are a kind and caring person and I'm sorry.