Call Me Crazy, But...

Call me crazy, but the colours are dancing like a party! It is awesome! They are so much brighter and just seem to be dancing as if there is music in my head. Upbeat, get up and dance, party music. It is awesome!

It's like the yo-yo has gone up and is staying on a high. Woo! Party! Loving life! So many plans and thoughts just buzzing through my mind. I could plan out my future in the next five minutes where it would usually take a week or two normally on one of these awesome high moods.

I will go to college, take the IB or four/five A-levels. The IB options I would take would be Spanish, English and performance, Biology, Chemistry, Maths and Psychology. The A-levels I would take would be Biology, Chemistry, Religious Studies, Psychology and possibly English Literature or Maths. Then I'll go to university to study medicine.  I'll do my rotations and either specialise in Cardio-vascular surgery, Neurology, Psychiatry or Emergency medicine. I'd love to get a job as a cardiac surgeon. I'd like a guy who loves me. Who gets me for me. That would be nice. But it is not essential. I would love a successful career. To just be so involved in medicine, my passion, and save so many people and just to help them. Improve their quality of life.

If I ever have a family, we'd have a dark blue VW camper van. Just for holidays. We'd walk and cycle everywhere else. Have a healthy lifestyle. Meals would always have a set time and bet set out on the table so everyone can help themselves. We would have a family meal at least once a week. The children would all play an instrument and do a sport. It wouldn't be controlling, but they would be able to choose as long as they did that. We'd have two cats and they'd each get a guinea pig when they are five, to teach them responsibility. The house would have two music rooms. One with a grand piano in the centre on a raised platform. It would have pale walls and one glass wall that overlooks either the garden or the woods or fields or the sea or something beautiful. The other would have other instruments in. We'd go to Church on a Sunday, but the children would be allowed to make their own minds up about their faith. They'd be taught to cook. There will be a room dedicated entirely to books. I'd get married either in a picturesque Church or in the middle of a field with woods on one side under a arch made of recycled wood. The chairs would be mix-matched in style but all the same colour. It will be a sunny day and there would be a barn for shelter. The blue VW would be in the barn with a white bow on it. There would be no alcohol.

But at the moment, I am going to work so hard to achieve A*'s and A's in all my GCSE's. I'm going to volunteer with St. Johns Ambulance service and do my silver DofE then my gold. I am going to take up running again and do yoga, got to replace my Karate with something. I'm going to get back into reading. I'm going to study and not destroy my future. I'd love to learn a new skill. Something useful. I'm going to get work experience placements in hospitals, and a job. Everything is going to be planned out and perfect. Nothing is going to stop me. When I set a goal or target,  I am going to stick to it and achieve it. Nothing is going to stop me from being the best I can possibly be and achieving what I can achieve. Nothing! I will make the most out of the person I could possibly be!

I want to party, go to Glasgow or go on a shopping spree. Just something to celebrate this awesome revolution. I just want to let go and start again. Erase all the bad and fill it with good and happiness. Seriously, green is the best thing ever. It makes me think I can do anything, that;s because I can. So bring on the Latin and Physics. But I am so ready for this new beginning. Out with the bad. Bad foods, bad thoughts and bad emotions and in with the best things. Life is changing and for the better!

Forgive and Forget?

Hercules is such an awesome movie! And best of all- it's Disney! It is such an amusing take on the Greek myth and of course, the Disneyfication of it not only makes it awesome, but it makes it so much easier to understand for all of us simple minded souls.

Disney is magical- just like the T.V says. It always manages to cheer me up, even from the worst moods. Even the girls with the disproportionate eyes and hands and waists and legs and arms. The Disney songs are so random and strange but I love them. And there are always lessons to be learnt from Disney!

Hercules teaches us not to try and be things we are not and that all the bravado we put on is nothing compared to who we are. It also tells us not to trust people with fire for hair. Hercules feels like he doesn't belong (who doesn't feel like that sometimes), bu t after a bit of time being a hero, he discovers that he belongs right here, on Earth, in the place where he lives. Disney tells us "to quit your moaning and stop being so pathetic and get on with life!" Disney also shows us that we all fit in, in our own special way.

Also, there is this part where 'Meg' betrays him, and then he forgives her!? After she ultimately gained his trust then broke his heart and Hades took away his strength in order to try and overthrow Zeus. And he forgave he! Is some little idiot did that to me... I'd snap their neck. I would so want to keep my super power and save the world. I suppose the phrase "forgive and forget" springs into mind here. I don't forgive easily. I'm very excellent at holding a grudge against someone. Am I holding a grudge at the moment? Ummmm... I think I am. But I can't remember why. Well, I have the forget side of that phrase.

But my Sunday afternoon was heaven... A Disney movie to lift my spirits and yeah. Disney can make you feel so special and awesome and they are the best 'feel-good-movies' ever! Who needs a rom-com and ice cream when you're feeling blerg? Why not watch Disney in front of the fire? Yep- we have a fire! It's cold, don't judge!

"Knowledge is life with wings."

William Blake is my favourite poet. Poetry is not dead, it is very much a live. Lyrics to your favourite shitty rap song are poetry, although bad ones. Very bad ones. William Blake was a fantastic poet! Yeah, he was a bit mad, but all geniuses are! He was, and is, better than any modern day poet or song writer! He just chose not to write his poem to some stupid, machine made sound that you all seem to class as music. He didn't write only about love, drugs, sex, ex's or some other seemingly irrelevant thing. He wrote magic! And logic!

"What is now proven was once imagined..." 

Well it was, wasn't it. Once we dreamed of flying to the stars and new lands. Once we dreamed all of these seemingly impossible dreams, but now, well now they are a reality.

"Everything to be imagined is an image of truth..." 

Again, true! Even our wildest dreams and aspirations have truth in them. There is no escaping honesty. It chases after you. We imagine what we want to happen, and in there are elements of truth. Our future. Everything is like that. 

"How can a bird that is born for joy, sit in a cage and sing?"

How can something have it's soul purpose removed from it's life and still be expected to do it? Why cadge a bird when it is supposed to be free to enjoy life. How can you put it in a cadge and expect it to sin for you, when it has no freedom? You can't. So follow what your heart says and do not suppress the enjoyment that you, as an individual, were made for. 

You can be anything in life, do anything, achieve anything, as long as you do it and don not expect others to. There is no limit as to what you can do, as long as you put your mind to it and do it. You can never reach an end because only you are capable to push yourself towards all of these infinite possibilities. 

"To see a world in a Grain of Sand

And a Heaven in a wild flower,

Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand

And Eternity in an hour..."

Only a fool would not see the beauty in this. There is a whole different life time going on inside the smallest of things. And true beauty can be shown in the purest, strongest things. The creations of God make a heaven on Earth if you look at the design and beauty of it all. You have the power to create infinite chances and create the best things in your life in the small window of life that you get a glimpse at. These possibilities are not a fabrication, but an actual thing and each one is as unique as the individual creating them. 

"In the Universe, there are things that are known, 

and things that are unknown and in between, 

there are doors."

So, in life you have things that are certain to exist, things that cannot possibly be, and things that nobody knows about. You have to find out about them by taking a risk and opening a door that will lead down a new path and will hold things that are uncertain. But that is the only way forwards as otherwise you are going to be so stuck in your ways, that you are going to lose everything. The known is boring, the impossible is out of bounds, so the unknown is the only way forwards. It may not be the safest path, but it is the one that is going to throw the most chances at you.