Withdrawal

So, everyone has a personal life. Unless you are some crazed freak who loves to share everything with the world because for some reason people find it interesting in your deluded little head. But the key to the phrase personal life is the word personal! One of us prefer to keep it private. It is our private life! Some people just like to keep stuff to them selves, whereas others love to tell everyone about it.

Now, as we have established, I am a hypocrite. A very big hypocrite. And this case is no exception. I will willingly tell people (too willingly), stuff that has gone on in my life and stuff. But the present is private. I can guarantee that there are very few people who know what is going on in life at the moment. And yeah, most family. But quite an unhealthy number of people know about the past. I just don't trust people. Why do people need to know stuff about you? They don't. Not really.

So yeah, most people know about the past. Mainly because of this lovely little blog that bores people to death. But I'm doing that thing again. Not letting anybody know about the present. Not strictly true. A few do know. But it's time to withdraw myself from society and social situations again. People are exasperated by stuff. And it's time to hide for ages. Put up a guard. Ya know. All that stuff.

I just don't really want to talk about a lot of stuff in life. How can you fully trust someone if you don't trust your self? I don't know. I trust people. Few people. But I don't really trust myself. Never have. Erg.

But then saying that, there is a lot of stuff that I would have liked to talk about. But let us be honest with each other, unless I want to talk about it with you, I will ignore you. Always have done and always will. Take it personally. Probably means I don't trust you, don't like you, think you're strange, just being rude to you, hate you, can't be bothered to talk to you about it, or I have not gotten your message just yet. Here is an idea: pick your favourite from the list and see if it fits or works.

I always do that. Always have hidden stuff. Always will. Let down too much. Mostly by me. But oh well. So yeah. Stuff. Reusing some words from an old post but with entirely new meanings: I thought I knew what would happen, I know where this now goes, I know what might happen, I knew that it could happen and I know that something will happen and I know the consequences, I thought I knew what could happen and what might happen and now faced with what did happen and where it could go, I thought I might accept it, but I haven't. I knew I was scared and know now that there is every right to.